Breathing is for losers

As you may have read, yesterday I got up at the butt-crack of dawn to work on my paper upload our wedding pictures to facebook. I tried REALLY hard to work on my paper, I did. I swear. But I woke up sick. Friday night, Tali, Yishai and I were all feeling a little lousy. I had a sore throat, Tali and Yishai had the sniffles. All of us were in "WTF" mode. Regardless, I woke up with one doozy of a cold on Saturday morning.

This may be leftovers from being sick a few weeks ago BUT it feels worse than how I felt a few weeks ago. A lot worse. The kind of worse that sent me crawling to the ENT. Well, I haven't crawled yet... but I did call.

Who needs to breathe anyway? It's TOTALLY over rated!

Anyway, this Wednesday marks the first night of Chanukkah! It's not a religious holiday but I am VERY excited to be eating latkes and sufganiot! I know, I know, they're fattening as hell BUT STILL - they are so yummy and delicious - I can't help it.

Are you excited for the holiday season? Will you be shopping online this year or buying gifts at the mall? Do tell!

In case you're interested: A penguin foams past the biology.

Shabbat Reflections

It's Shabbat - I shouldn't be blogging. I should be working on papers. I woke up at 6:30AM this morning after a late-night of hanging out with friends. You may have read in a previous post that we held our annual post-Thanksgiving Shabbat Dinner. It went off without a hitch... almost. Kind of. Sort of. OK, I TOTALLY screwed up the green bean casserole.

All in all, it was a great night. I couldn't have done it without my friend Matan. He came early to help me cook and keep me company while Craig cleaned. He was FANTASTIC! Granted, I kicked him out of the kitchen at some point so he could chill with the rest of the peeps at our house.

I missed Thanksgiving in Detroit more than usual this year. Everyone convened at my Mom's house for Turkey Day. Yes, I mean everyone. My sisters, their families, in laws, outlaws, my Aunt and Uncle came in from Arizona, my cousin came in from Seattle, AND my Dad and Stepmom ALSO ate at my Mom's house.

I've waited 19 years for that to happen.

The closest I ever got to seeing it happen was when my sister got married six years ago. During the wedding planning phase, all the parents came together at my Mom's house to talk about the wedding and the planning. At the time, I was dating a guy who kept me as far away from that house as possible. Around 45 minutes after the brunch finished, my sister called and said the coast was clear.

I commend my parents for putting any underlying issues aside and breaking bread as a family. In the end, we're all family. They're connected by children and grandchildren and I am proud of my parents. I'm also sad I missed it.

Now, it's Shabbat and I have a lot to reflect on. I miss my family ... a lot. Especially this time of year. Maybe I'll get to see them over Pesach.

Thankful Thursday - Thanksgiving Edition

I will likely update this post later - post dinner... but for now, I am really thankful for this:

Do you see the look Cecil is giving me???

This picture was taken sometime last weekend when Cecil full on stole my spot.

And, yes, he IS under the covers.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

What are YOU thankful for today?

Wordless Wednesday...The Show Goes On

My Wordless Wednesday isn't so wordless. In fact, it's filled with words - for a good reason.

My WW is actually picture less. Please read on...

Even with all the issues Craig and I have faced over the last few weeks nothing compares to what my friend Ben and his wife have been facing for the last year or so. Ben has cancer and is being moved into hospice where he can rest comfortably.

This news, today, really made me sad.

When Ben and I were in high school we were in the same Jewish youth organization together. Ben was vibrant and a bit of a bad ass. He thought he was Mr. Super Cool and, in reality, to most of us he was Mr. Super Cool. He had an attitude, he developed a reputation, but most of all - he cared about his fellow brothers in AZA (Aleph Zadik Aleph - the male section of our youth organization). They really were his brothers and he cared about them as such. He protected them, ragged on them, and loved them.

Ben has always been that kind of guy. Rough on the outside. Gushy in the middle when he needed to be.

Needless to say, when I first heard of Ben's cancer it was after many years of not hearing much. I followed him on facebook, saw he got married to a beautiful young woman and tried to live the normal married live.

Then I got the phone call. Being from the Jewish Community in Metro-Detroit is a little like having a really big phone tree. One person has something happen to them and the news trickles from there. My best friend, M, called me and said "my brother called me, did you know Ben M. has cancer?" Wait, what??

She went on to tell me that when we were in high school, Ben wasn't exactly nice to her little brother but her brother still cared enough to pass along the information. I was shocked, stunned, and went to his facebook profile where I found out about his blog. Through the fantasticness that is the Internet - I've been able to keep up to date with Ben and his wife.

Today, I read a post written by Ben's wife that came with some hard-to-read news. If you visit his facebook page, you'll see dozens of "get well" wishes. I'm going to end this post with this:

The holiday season is just around the corner and it's filled with miracles. It is my hope, this holiday season, that your cancer miraculously disappears and stays gone. It is my hope that this rest is what you need to come back to a full recovery. I believe in miracles and I believe in the power of love. Most of all, I believe in you.

Some of you may not know Ben or his wife, Lindsay - please keep them in your thoughts and prayers this holiday season.

Imma Scapegoat!

I originally posted this on my other blog but I felt like I should post it here, too...



Over the last few weeks I've been seeing my name appear in the press. Ellen DeGeneres is NOT knocking on my door to hear what I have to say BUT many people are saying I'm not American and should renounce my US citizenship while others are telling me to leave Israel because I clearly don't care about the State of Israel. Where would I go? Canada? Probably not.

Today, I game across a blog post about me that really just bothered me. Feel free to read the post if you wish but it's a bunch of bologna. Seriously. This experience in the press taught me that I became a scapegoat for a cause the media created. I became the poster child for a cause that has no meaning. My name is being associated with all that is evil with the State of Israel. Rather than propelling the country to change how it handles marriages and marriage licenses, anti-Israel groups are saying "see! The State of Israel hates it's own!"

I wanted to be the face of what happens every day here in Israel when you try to get married. I wanted to put a face to the problem of religious in-equality in the country that I love so dearly. I wanted to show the State of Israel that it needs to change - no longer can you tell someone that it's OK for them to die in battle as a Jew but they aren't Jewish enough to get married.

Instead, I feel like I brought shame to my family.

This is the first time that I cried about this issue since we went to the Rabbanut in the first place. I let myself down. I let others just like me down. The media used me for nothing.

I will make two things clear:
1) I am a Jew - no matter what anyone says.
2) I have never and will never use my family heritage to make myself popular or famous. That's what my political career and published books will be for.

I lost friends because of this and, in all honesty, they weren't really my friends to begin with if they chose not to stand by my side. In reality, until they go through what I've gone through and what others just like me have gone through - they'll never know how terrible it feels to be in limbo.

In Israel, when you're going to get married, you have lessons with the Rabbi or a his wife (or a member of the community). They teach you how to be a good spouse - you can lean on them for support. A friend of mine will be married at the end of December and I am envious of her relationship with her marriage teacher. With all the other issues the man and I had to deal with while getting married - I needed someone there to hold my hand. Someone who understood. I didn't really have that. My friend is lucky - she has her mentor to lean on. I got to sit back and watch my husband's heart break as he walked down the aisle with his great-uncle instead of his father. I watched him sit quietly as my family was buzzing around me during our rehearsal dinner and he had no one there but a few friends. When my make up artist wanted to kick him out of the room so it'd be a surprise when he saw me for the first time - I said "Haim, where's he gonna go? The lobby?"

I needed that older Jewish woman to cry to. My family both in the US and in Israel didn't understand what we were going through. Regardless, some moron decided to write a post about how I am dissatisfied with the system. He's partially right - I am dissatisfied. The system itself is in place for a reason and I respect it - I am dissatisfied with how it was handled. I am dissatisfied with the people they put in positions of authority who can't read English or Russian - two of Israel's main languages. I am dissatisfied with the lack of accountability. This is not what David Ben Gurion envisioned and Theodore Herzl is rolling in his grave right now. This is supposed be the home of the JEWISH people. The home for Jews who seek refuge. I sought refuge and then was told I wasn't Jewish enough.

Thanksgiving Blues

This is not my first Thanksgiving away from home. This is also not Craig's first Thanksgiving. However, this year we're keeping with TRADITION! We're hosting our annual Post-Thanksgiving Shabbat Dinner!

I know, it seems a little lame that we're having something AFTER Turkey Day but, in all honesty, we DO have plans on Thanksgiving. It's hard to be American in a country that doesn't really have American holidays. It's also hard to split your time between two cultures.

So, why do I have the Thankgiving blues? After the wedding, my parents started getting along. All of them. All four of them. This. Is. Monumental. I waited 19 years for this to happen and now I get to miss all the fun at my sister's house for Thanksgiving. It's INSANE!

Anyway, I'm also a little blue-ish because I have SO much to do this week and SO LITTLE time. I have to finish my second senior thesis paper AND shop AND cook AND clean... just to get ready for FRIDAY! O.M.G! Thank goodness I have a husband who is slightly OCD about cleaning.

So, what's on our menu for Friday:

- Turkey (or Chicken)

- Stuffing

- Cranberry Sauce

- Green Bean Casserole

- Marshmallow Pumpkin Pie

- Pumpkin rolls/muffins

- Mashed Potatoes

- Salad

- Cranberry Apple Cobbler

- Mixed Fruit Tart or Cranberry upside down Muffins

Sounds appetizing? I hope so. Now if only my guests would get back to me with what they'd like to bring...

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! What are YOU thankful for this year??

Thankful Thursday - Sick as a Dog Edition

One of my last posts discussed me being in the newspaper - this post is kind of a follow up to that in some respects.

I caught a cold - which automatically means I'm not a nice person to deal with because I'm miserable (and sleep deprived). Instead of carrying on and being a rude individual, I'm going to give you a list of five things I'm thankful for today...

1) Coffee. I really love coffee and I cannot get enough of it.

2) Israeli cold medicine. This stuff ROCKS!

3) My dad. We may not always see eye-to-eye on things but when it comes to people bashing his child, he pulls the "Dad" card and becomes Papa Bear. Proof? Look at the comments from this edition of the article in a Yiddish online journal - comment #25 (PrezJackson) is my dad and he makes that VERY clear. I know he often wants me to be quiet and not always voice my opinion but when I do - and I get attacked for my experiences - he still stands up for me and for what's right.

4) RivkA - I didn't actually know her but she recently had a huge impact on the way I see life. RivkA was a fellow blogger who documented her experience with cancer. She passed away last week but left a lasting impression on me. Life is fragile and life is beautiful - try to see the goodness in each moment.

5) My husband. I know, it should go without saying but I really am thankful for him. We work odd schedules and come home at odd times - so we don't always see each other. He is planning a romantic night out for us on our designated "date night". He did this without prompting. As sick as I am - I am NOT going to miss this. That's what cold pills are for, right?


I may feel like crap for the rest of the day but I am thankful for this moment - it's quiet, I have my coffee, there's a little wind pushing its way through the room and all is well in this world... for the moment.

What are YOU thankful for today?

Wordless Wednesday - Peace OUT!

Circa 2008. Angelo and Hillary during Angelo's b-day party.
Goodbye my friend, see you in D.C.
Come back and visit sometime...

Oops... I did it again!

OK, I may not be Brit Brit (and I do not require a conservator) but I did it again! I wound up in the news. The topic: the split between "secular" Jews and "religious" Jews in Israel. I first made the news when the Rabbanut (think the Vatican of Jewry) told me I wasn't quite a Jew. The story had over 200 comments but was published in an Israeli newspaper.

This story was published by the Associated Press and is all.over.the.web. Like here... and here... and here.



I look pretty! Except now my hair is short (this was taken just after our wedding). No double chin... YAY!

Anyway, looks aside, the article is fairly powerful. At the end of the article, an Israeli law maker states "We are not saying that someone who is Reform or Conservative is not Jewish. But they can't change the order of things here in Israel," he said. "The average Israeli wants the country to abide by the Jewish tradition ... You can't take the things most sacred to us and tear them to shreds."

The article is actually about the conversion bill that is making its way through the Knesset (government) now. The above quote hit me hard. Possibly because I was told I'm Jew-ish during a time when I should have been welcomed in as a Jew. When Craig and I were going through our wedding planning, we had to get the seal of approval from the Rabbanut. We didn't. I was told I wasn't quite a Jew. I was discriminated against because I grew up as a Conservative Jew. That's why the first article was written.

The reason the above quote has me a bit miffed is because they DON'T consider someone, like me, to be a Jew. Because I am a Conservative Jew. I'm not asking them to change the order in which they do things but I am demanding that people like me be counted as part of the Jewish population. No one is tearing our traditions to shreds. At our wedding, my Orthodox cousins told me my "Conservative" wedding was more religious than most weddings in Israel.

The quote hurt. It's a blatant lie. Anyone who has tried to get married in Israel and was brought up outside of Israel as something other than an Orthodox Jew has probably faced the same discrimination. My Conservative wedding was not legal in Israel - so we had to go to Cyprus to make it "official".

Even after reading the article and reading some idiot lie and say he counts me as a Jew - what strikes me as the most odd (and worrying) is the comments people left on the Yahoo publication. There are 851 comments. Most of them are against Jews. My face is on that article. My name is now something to be associated with the problems in Israel. I am the poster-child for what is wrong with Israel! Yet, I am also the poster child for what is right with Israel. This country is my home. This country gave refuge to my family when they needed it the most. This country absorbs more immigrants than most "Western" countries - including refugees from Darfur. Don't get me started on the refugees from the former Soviet Union - we absorbed them, too.

I wanted to be the poster child for people who search for equality. Instead, I did it again and put a face to a problem that most people in this world don't understand. 851 comments. Most of them negative. I read them all. And I'd do it again. In a heart beat.