TNGheader Home Blogs We Love Contact Us PR

Friday, July 30, 2010

I'm in the NEWSPAPER!

For a while, I've been documenting what's been going on with our wedding and any issues we've faced. Needless to say, I don't think my siblings ever faced what Craig and I have dealt with recently. Given a new conversion bill on the parliament floor, newspapers all over Israel have been scrambling to find people here that either chose to get married abroad in order not to face the Rabbinical Courts or were forced to marry abroad after facing the Rabbinical Courts.

My story was published in Haaretz (the land) Newspaper. We made the front page. It helps that my great-great Uncle was a Zionist leader.

Before you read it, I want to take the opportunity to thank Raphael Ahren for publishing my story. I hope it brings some much needed social change.

For a nicer version, the article can be found on Haaretz.

Sokolow's niece 'not Jewish enough' to marry here

After being told she needed to prove the Jewishness of her maternal lineage for four generations, Hillary Rubin is questioning her decision to move to Israel.

By Raphael Ahren 


Hillary Rubin felt she was living out her ancestors' dream when she decided to move to Israel in 2006. Now she says she is being forced to leave the country to fulfill her own dream - getting married.
"Zionism runs in my family," the Detroit native says, adding that her grandfather's uncle was Zionist leader Nahum Sokolow.
Sokolow's niece Hillary Rubin Sokolow's niece Hillary Rubin
But after filing for a wedding license and being told she needed to prove the Jewishness of her maternal lineage for four generations, she is wondering whether she made the right decision in immigrating to a Jewish state that doubts her Jewishness.

I'm furious with this country right now," the 29-year-old international relations student told Anglo File this week. "I'm the great-great-niece of a prominent Zionist and I am always a supporter of this country, but this really frustrated me and I can totally understand why a lot of my Anglo friends left this country."

Rubin, who was raised in a Conservative household, produced letters from four Conservative rabbis and one Chabad rabbi attesting to her Jewishness. But the Herzliya Rabbinate said the letters were not enough and asked her to bring ketubot, or religious wedding contracts, as well as birth or death certificates of her mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and great-great-grandmother.

"It was made very clear that without ketubot and without birth certificates from four generations, I would need to go to the Beit Din [local rabbinical court]," Rubin told Anglo File this week. "I told him, time and time again, that my grandparents are Shoah survivors [and thus their ketubot no longer exist] and I was told that wasn't his problem."

The Herzliya Rabbinate responded that it kept to strict standards "of Moses and Israel" for affirming one's faith.
There is no civil marriage in Israel, forcing couples to either go through a local Rabbinate or marry abroad. The Chief Rabbinate recently enacted new guidelines automatically sending marriage candidates whose parents did not wed in Israel to a local rabbinical court to determine whether they are really Jewish.

The new regulations do not specify which documents are needed to conclusively determine a person's Jewishness. It's likely that Rubin's letters would not have proven sufficient for them, according to a rabbi with knowledge of the system.
Rubin fears the rabbinical court might declare her a non-Jew and thus decided to get married without the Rabbinate's blessing. Instead, Rubin and her Johannesburg-born fiance' Craig Glaser will tie the knot in a Conservative ceremony on a moshav in the Sharon region in two weeks. Since Conservative weddings are not recognized by the state, they plan to fly for one day to Cyprus for a civil marriage - an option used by many Israeli couples unable, or unwilling, to satisfy the Rabbinate's demands.

The rabbinical court does not actually declare somebody a non-Jew without proof of their belonging to another religion, but Rubin would still run the risk of being left in the situation of not being officially Jewish by the state's standards should she turn to them.

"At this point, I no longer want to play be their rules. I want to fight what they're doing," Rubin, who observes Shabbat and keeps kosher, said.

When Anglo File called the Rabbinate's marriage department this week, a man who said he was its director but declined to state his name said he remembered the case. He said the couple was referred to the rabbinical court in Tel Aviv to have their Jewishness affirmed, and that before this is done he cannot let them get married. When he learned they had decided to get married in Cyprus to avoid the rabbinical court, he said nonchalantly: "Good for them. We are only marrying people according to the law of Moses and Israel."

Rubin and her fiance' - whose documents were accepted by the rabbinate as valid proof of Jewishness - did not even want to try to convince the rabbinical court that she is a Jew. "I can't provide them with the documents they want. I am the granddaughter of four Holocaust survivors, any documents my grandparents may have had from their families we don't have anymore ... Who has a death certificate from somebody who was gassed to death? These things are frustrating because my grandparents were persecuted for being Jewish, and here I am being told I'm not exactly Jewish."
She is also concerned they might not declare her Jewish because her parents are divorced and she can no longer provide their ketuba. The facts that her parents' get, or bill of divorce, was prepared by a Conservative rabbi and that her mother has since remarried a Catholic would further lead the rabbis to deny her their official stamp of approval, she said.

The young couple believes the consequences of going through the rabbinical court are "much worse" than not going at all.

"It's as if one day you wake up and you're no longer a Jew in the Jewish State but outside Israel you are still Jewish enough to be hated by most of the world," Rubin says. "It's a weird feeling. It's hard enough to grasp the idea that your Judaism may not be valid but then to be told you're not actually Jewish according to the Jewish state - it's ostracizing."
 
 

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Gold Paint

I want a sticker.

A gold sticker.

Why? (you may be asking this)

Because I painted a lot of my centerpieces GOLD yesterday. I deserve something.

Perhaps a cookie?? A GOLD cookie? No, that would probably taste gross.

Either way, I deserve something fantastic since I was covered in gold paint and spray paint yesterday.

Sometimes, doing things yourself is a bitch. Other times, it's worth it. This is a combo of both.

Don't tell me these aren't cool centerpieces:




What do you think? How'd I do?

Sunday, July 18, 2010

So, I'm Jew-ish.

Did you know that I'm Jewish.

Well, I'm actually Jew-ish.

The Rabbanut has told us that we need to go validate our Judaism at the Bet Din (Judaic Rabbinical Court).

Screw that!

We're going to be rebels and create an act of civil disobedience! We're going to Prague for the civil ceremony.

Nothin' says "Happy Wedding Day" like some goulash.

I imagine our wedding day will have something like this:
Or this....

Either way, our second wedding day will be delicious... and I'll be a lot like my grandparents in the sense that I will be legally getting married in Eastern Europe.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Hard Day's Night

The hardest part of my life seems to be now. Immigrating to Israel was easier than what I've been dealing with for the past year. For most brides, planning a wedding is fun and princess-y. For me, it's a pain in the ass.

I hope to g-d I only have to do this once. Well, twice actually.

We are getting married "religiously" in Israel on August 8.

We are getting married "civilly" in Prague in late-September.

How did this happen?

Oh right. A Rabbi whose help I needed didn't act in enough time.

Well, I shouldn't entirely blame him. In all honesty, the stars may not be aligned right for this. Or perhaps, g-d wants me to take an adventure (and have a bazillion anxiety attacks in the process).

Getting married is the hardest thing I've had to do in my life. It's not even fun. The process I've gone through of finding out which family members ARE coming to the wedding and which one's AREN'T coming. Finding out that I AM in fact Jewish but not Jewish enough for the Rabbanut to not give me a hard time. Everthing is hard, Hard, HARD!

It needs to STOP!

I'm getting married in 3 weeks. The madness needs to end. Exams are almost over. Work is work (always stressful but seemingly worth it). School is nearly done (3 more classes, 2 more exams... possibly 3).

I have 2 nerves being crushed to death in my back which makes me want to rip out my kidney.

I don't sleep. I eat but I feel like throwing up afterward because food doesn't agree with me right now.

I need to r.e.l.a.x.

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do...

... but it's soooooo worth it in the end.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

 
Tweet